We are all full of good intentions when it comes to our health, we make goals and we set out to do them but many of us get sidetracked by life and give up. Most of us know what we have to do and the benefits of doing it; so why don’t we? When someone wants to lose weight, we will often say just eat better, eat less, and move more. Just go ahead and do it. But if it was that simple, we would all be fit, healthy and there be no need for health coaches or motivational speakers. The human body minimally needs a few things to stay well, nourishing healthy food, plenty of water, physical activity, social connection, a good night’s sleep, avoid tobacco, and minimize alcohol consumption. But according to the Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System (BRFSS), only about 3% of Americans can say they don’t smoke, are active at least 30 minutes five days a week, AND eat five or more servings of produce a day. The knowledge it simple. But why is it so hard to actually achieve these goals? |
What it Takes |
It is more than just knowing what you need to know, yes knowledge is helpful, but it is not enough to get you to achieve your goals. Whatever it is that you are trying to accomplish such as figure out how to deal with alcohol or try to exercise more, it’s unlikely you’ll find the long-term answer in telling yourself over and over what you need to do. If knowledge deficit is not the problem then what is? We all have many different kinds of obstacles that must be faced before you can accomplish your goal. For example, we all know that broccoli is better for us than chips or cookies. But as one eight-year-old so perfectly said, “I have to be pretty hungry to eat a banana, but I want a cookie for all kinds of reasons.” The point is that knowledge of what we “should” and “shouldn’t” do, will not motivate us to change how we live our lives. All it does is make us feel bad for the choices we made and make it hard to get back on track. If knowledge is the first step, what comes after? |
Find you “Why” |
Your why should be intrinsic or from inside you and not what others want you to do. Achieving your goals can be very difficult but start with small steps instead of large goals. When we look at very large goals, we can get overwhelmed but breaking a big goal into smaller pieces that can be achieved will help you make small milestones that will keep you motivated. While it is easier, cleaner, and appealing to analyze and preach knowledge and action. The ability to change and maintain a behavior is not “just” a choice, there’s mental and emotional baggage tied up in it. Many people are “stuck” in perpetual cycles of on-again, off-again health behaviors. We increasingly get frustrated and demoralized with each attempt at changing. We often label ourselves as “lazy” or “unmotivated” or “weak.” We often create strict knowledge-based rules and expectations without considering what’s driving those behaviors. Often, we focus on outer or extrinsic reasons for wanting to change. When we do that, we will for sure fail and accomplish little more than blaming ourselves. Humans are diverse and complex creatures. We need to nourish and grow our inner self to be strong and resilient. The only way to do that is to set those intrinsic goals and follow through and not to give up. |
Be Prepared to follow through no matter how long it takes |
If you’re struggling to change a behavior, look beyond the plans and gimmicks and personal shame and blame. You’re not “weak” or “lazy” or “unmotivated.” Consider looking deeper into what is driving the behavior – the thoughts and feelings you’re having (or avoiding) and how this might be impacted by past and present relationships with yourself and others. You need to start believing in yourself and in that you can accomplish those goals you have set for yourself. Plan ahead for those things that can derail your plans. As a quote attributed to Roman Emperor Marcus Aurelius puts it, “The impediment to action advances action. What stands in the way becomes the way.” Standing at a wall of opposition is intimidating, but it also creates motivation. To set goals, make sure you find your “why”. Once you know you why keep it front and center so it can motivate you to follow through. Don’t let small missteps derail your resolve, gather all your resilience, and start again. Be kind to yourself and only tell yourself kind words and encouraging words. You are one of a kind and because you are special you should treat yourself as invaluable. Nothing worth doing is easy but it is worth it. |